


She Woke Up Alone

by Delouest



Series: Sigh No More - Malika Cadash [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Revelations, poor malika
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 15:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4792775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delouest/pseuds/Delouest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending their first night together, Malika Cadash wakes up to find Blackwall gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Woke Up Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always welcome. Enjoy!

Malika woke to the sun inching lazily across her skin. For all accounts she should have been uncomfortable from the prickle of hay embedded in her hair and the scratch of burlap underneath her. Yet she felt more relaxed than she could remember since the whole business with the Inquisition had started. Since before then, even. Relaxed would not be how she would have described her time in the Carta. Stretching her arms over her head, she blocked the sun from her eyes for just a moment longer. She wanted to stay in that moment as long as she could.

For once, she felt happy, warm and safe. Blackwall... the night before. The overwhelming feeling of being wanted, needed. Rough hands, soft mouth. Malika smiled and allowed herself to peek over the crook in her arm to find him.

The loft was empty.

Malika shifted her weight to her elbows, craning her neck. He wouldn’t just… leave. But the more she searched, the more she realized she was alone. A feeling of certainty washed over her like the cold breeze on her bare skin. He was gone. A pit in the bottom of her stomach opened up and threatened to swallow her whole. Toxic whispers hissed at her from a place in the back of her head she thought she had moved past.

You’re not good enough. You’ve never been good enough. You’ve never been enough. Why did you think things would be different here?

_He left because he couldn’t bear to look you in the eyes after last night. Secondhand embarrassment at you making a fool of yourself._

Malika tried not to give those voices weight. But she felt them now, pressing against her heart, squeezing and wringing her into knots of doubt.

_Did I overstep my position as his leader? Of course I did. I pressured him. He tried to back out of it. How many times did he push me away? But I wouldn’t hear it. I pushed and I pushed until he felt sorry for me, felt like his position in the Inquisition was threatened if he turned me down again._

The thoughts circled, again and again, unchanging. Eventually Malika sat up as if she could escape her mind by walking away.

It was then that she noticed the badge, almost stepped on it in her haste to get up. Blackwall’s Warden badge. Why would he have left it here? Malika turned it over in her hands as though willing it to give her the answers she lacked.

Confusion and doubt came first.

The anger would come later.

 

 


End file.
